The tamborines of Hare Krishnas and guitars of Christians on campus accomplish the same thing in my mind, to annoy the crap out of me.

Be it the monotone droaning of krishna chants or the, mostly, slightly off pitch wail of worship songs, it all has the same effect. Call me cynical if you will but I don't believe that either of those two were meant as advertisements. "Hey! Come look at our cool group."

I guess it comes down to the fact that worship is too personal to me for it to be used as a marketing device. I have no problem, in fact find great joy, in seeing someone on campus bent over his/her guitar intently worship the Lord by him/herself or with a few others. It's when the person at the table in Turlington or the Union Colonnade is making the loudest noise he/she can to bring attention to the table.

Is that what it is all about?

The Hare Krishnas are a little different in that I am not personally involved with them, but it creates the same feeling. Does standing on the corner of 13th and University chanting really forward the cause of Hare Krishnaicism? I can't say for everyone but it doesn't engender me to their cause.

Marketing and publicity are not my cup of tea. Kill 'em with the love is my paraphrase of the uniquely biblical concept of 'they will know you by your love'. Where else does that idea show up. Many other 'religious' groups preach love to all, but are they known for it. Or is it something else. Say, their garb, or their worship practices, etc.

Now I'm not saying that many christians are known for their love. I believe that we as a whole have dropped the ball on that. While not saying that an exception is made here, but I do believe those involved with crusade here on average probably are more loving than other circles of christians. But is that because we are so wrapped up in a crusade subculture that it becomes easy for us here, yet will leave us as soon as we ourselves leave? I really can't say.

And as I look around now and find myself alone in a sea of people I wonder. Do I stand out? Can they tell? A sickening feeling I have is that I have become just like them. Self-serving, unconscious of all around me, believing that my little bubble, this space that finds itself around me, is somehow more important or more blessed than others.

How can I be so all about this unattractive and ungainly peice of flesh? I can't answer that truthfully to myself right now. I've lied to myself for too long to believe me.