and i am awake...

and i am alone...

ok, maybe not entirely alone. The two women sitting in the office next to mine are seeming to have a grand soft time over there, but here I sit. Isolated by a inch and a half think peice of fiberboard from the rest of the world. Behind here I am just a thrall, a sub human if you will. Fairly sure that I am the one who is always incorrect and the person, who's only difference is geographic positioning, is right. 'I'm sorry, let me see if I can find the right answer for you.'

and it never helps that my shorts don't fit anymore...

rolling out of bed this morning at 7:30 realizing that I have to be in the office by 8 meant all I had time to do was to throw some clothes on, blindly fumble with the contacts, and stumble out the door. The feeling didn't hit me until I was walking from the parking lot to the building and realized that I had to pretty much hold them up or they were going to fall off my body. Now I guess for some people they might find incomperable joy in the fact that they are smaller in the mid section, I on the other hand was cursing the fact that my favorite pair of shorts now were not the right size. Or perhaps they are the right size and I am the one who is wrong. That would fit with my existence behind this desk. 'I'm sorry, let me see if I can be the right size for you.'

and i am gone...

well, in a day I'll be gone and all this will be over. It's hard to lose friends. Yeah, people say 'you never lose a friend, we'll keep in touch'. That's great, keep in touch. When what I want is personal contact. Where their lives are an integral part of mine. We do things together rather than send a few over used text lines in email or instant messenger. I'm pretty burned out on the whole long distance friendship thing. I mean, I'm really glad that I can keep in touch with people like a friend of mine who has been in Argentina for the past year. I get all crazy whenever I get the chance to talk with him. But such is life in these times when my friends are growing up and leaving...(sniff).