It's my last day at work. Temp job number one is officially flushing its metaphorical self down the toilet. It makes me sad for some reason. I think it's mostly the paycheck. It hasn't been that bad working as a leasing agent, but I really don't see how people do this for a living. Two of my coworkers are in the next room griping about the management and how this place is going to fall apart in the next few years. It's rather humorous because they both just started working here, one within the past week.

I really hope that I never become like that. I want to be different. I want to be creative. I don't want to fall into the routine of being a responsible adult. That doesn't mean I don't want to be responsible. I want to be able to support myself and any future family that I may have, but I don't want to be the man who goes to the office at 7am and gets home at 5pm only to eat dinner and then veg in front of the tv. Is it really too much to ask to be a rock star? Ok, not even a star, just to play the music. I find myself dreaming about such things but then I start second guessing myself. I am my own worst enemy. I can paralyze myself in an instant. People say encouraging things about my music, but I shrug it off most of the time being too shy to really believe them. Then the questions pop up, how do I want to express the music? Do I want to just be a straight up rock band touring the club scene? Will the music be more outright in faith, perhaps even worshipful? Or do I be a full time worship leader? I don't know. Just some of the many questions floating around in my too large imagination.

who knows. I guess it's not so bad that one of my soon to be roommates is going through the same problems. moral support!