so it's 4am and I am still awake? Why is that? Well it might have to do with the fact that I fell asleep during the movie tonight for about half an hour so I'm not feeling tired. That kinda sucks though 'cause come tomorrow and I'll be feeling like crap. I could just sleep until I naturally wake up, however I feel like that would just start a bad precendent for the semester. There's always the job applications sitting next to me that I could fill out or I could just be unproductive and just type for now.

It's hard to come off of a summer of my schedule being made for me and then having to do it all on my own.

I never thought I could miss someone more, but I do now
I never thought I could feel so terrible about myself, but I do now

Late nights combined with an introspective spirit and personal faults is a volatile mix. I find it is much easier to hate parts of yourself than to love the whole. These words, penned by Christian Lindskog, speak my heart: "but I know, as I hammered those nails into your beautiful hands/ your eyes still try to search for mine, but I look away/ now your eyes are the only thing that can save me/ I'm still so afraid of them piercing/ you're breaking into my prison"

and so the school year begins. I believe it to be full of promise and blessing, but I must be faithful. Be faithful and true and pure. No blemish should be found on this sacrifice.